Any tam bram family would definitely have a ambi mama , a baby perippa and a nana athimber ( no particular reference to anyone) . And these people are set to make the life of the nextgen as difficult as possible. Despite their good intentions questions like "When are you planning on getting married?" "How much will u earn when u get a job?" "How well can you cook?" makes u dearly wish tat you had the powers to apparate. More importantly you dont really know the answers to those questions.
If you get into a conversation with a bonafide tam bram you will realise that in a tam bram family mathematics, physics and chemistry are not merely subjects in the school curriculum. It is a religion. Biology is allowed , but only if you are going to be a doctor. And the "tharaka manthiram" of every Tam Bram student is to master them and pave his way through the gates of an IIT, AIIMS, or atleast Anna university. If you are not particularly brilliant you are begrudgingly allowed to get yourself admitted into the local engineering colleges.
So when a decent scoring student like me decided to take up BSc there where hues and cries of "what is wrong with you?" " you will never get paid enough". I battled through but this was easier mainly because i am a girl. If any of you can point out a tam bram guy of this gen who is say a economist, historian, fashion designer id be suprised.
All these things always make me want to keep em at a distance.. Recently i had a change of perspective . Not tat ive lived long but barely escaping with your life intact makes you think. I am very expressive with word but not with emotions. Ive always liked to deal with anger, hurt or grief on my own. But my elder bro pointed out that it was not our "indian" way. And i realise he is perfectly rite..
They may yell at you, tease you to death, bore you with mundane details, but they are there the minute you need them.One thing that amazes is tat you dont even have to be directly related. Still they treat you like their own. My sister in law who i know for barely a year helped me as if i were her own sister.She and my brother made me realize that family is a circle where we learn to like ourselves ,where we learn to make good decisions. Most of all family is a place where we listen and are listened to....
good post. family is very important and not all of us actually have big families to bak us up.
ReplyDeletegood humour with the iit aiims thing though :)... and yea i do know an iyengar guy who is a historian. :P
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ReplyDeleteFirst things first..
ReplyDeleteashok... u know an iyengar historian?
Sounds like an oxymoron of the first order :)
Nice post rt! I shamelessly agree that we were cut some slack because of gender based issues.
Yeah. families do matter. period.
If life is really a roller coaster ride..u know who is cheering for u from the sidelines :) Blood is thicker than water at the end of the day.
So namma kudumbatha izhuthutta :)
ReplyDeleteA very very good one that echoes every one of my thought.. When many of our Tam Bram bonafides criticized my bro for not taking up a job related to what he studied, I got as angry as I could get ever get. Its a sad part. Most of the high school pass outs dont know who they are and what they are good at. Decisions are made out for them. Moment they discover themselves and decide where they want to get into, there are hues and cries as if a criminal act is being committed. Not everyone can be thick skinned, be immune to the rubbish things spoken and remain confident through tough times. They fall for the family pressure and compromizes beyond a point are dangerous.
This is one reason I admire my bro, deservedly given these Tam Bram's rubbish talks a damn. He continued to do what he wanted to do and is doing things what he is not only good at but also making the most of the opportunities he is presented with. Successes and failures are his own, they are an experience in his journey of life.
At the end of the day, as u said, family is indeed very important. They always propose what they think is good for us with no pun intended. Just that they are one generation ahead of us or rather behind and do not keep upto date with changing market and mindset of gennext. And some are just not good enough, they want to be just heard, nothing more than that. Sometimes Tam Brams also play a big part in getting u stronger inside. A few of them teach us family values through their actions and noble act, an invaluable experience for us.. And I m sure they will feel a part of your success moment it arrives. Being self-confident and self-sufficient is the key, keep a smiling face when they ask u questions u dont have an answers.... Being humorous there always help, they wont mess around u once they realize u r impregnable :) A long comment from me, wish u a very happy 42nd birthday :), have a blast of a time, have a wonderful year ahead...