Sprucing up!

I was up last night unable to sleep mindlessly surfing through the TV when I saw a re-run of the much talked of ‘Evolution’ ad of Dove. It shows a plain, geeky woman walking up and seating herself in front of the camera and then being transformed by hair, light, and make-up into a glamour diva. The message conveyed of course was that it’s all doable—those flawless complexions, perfect features that seem to drive terror and cause self doubt amongst women all over via all visual media, are not so scary and impossible anymore.

The optional message is that it’s all fake—which means that the rest of us, too, can look like the million bucks it will cost us, for happiness is merely beauty at a price.

Like most introverts I grew up with my nose in a book, and so somehow entirely missed the process that socializes people to take some care with their appearance. While this saved me much of the heartache and self-doubt during school life, it also ensured that the real world came as a rude shock. I was forced to amend my quite genuine belief that looks don’t matter, to the indignant position that they shouldn’t matter.

I for one experienced this horror when I went for an interview last week, where I ran into a classmate of mine who was there for the same interview. Did I have better grades? Yes. Did I do better on my written tests and my tech rounds? Yes. Did I have more experience than the other applicant? Yes. Was I better looking than her? No. Don’t get me wrong here. I was well dressed, well mannered. But I wasn’t wearing make up or dint take as much effort with how I presented myself as the other applicant. However I got an email saying I wasn’t what they were looking for while the other applicant was hired. Of course there is always the possibility that she was better qualified than me and maybe I am just crying over spilt milk.

It’s too tedious to cite all the studies that show that the earth’s very axis is tilted albeit slightly in favour of better-looking people, who despite the fact of having been assumed to have fewer brains( which is definitely not always true), get hired more easily, make more money, live easier lives, and have more fun.
Most people would prefer to believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but evolutionary psychology tells a different story. In reality, everyone is likely to gravitate toward certain physical characteristics that make some people more desirable than others.

These preferences exist for one basic reason: biological reproduction. It is a well established fact that male preferences are biologically and evolutionarily programmed to find signs of youth and health attractive, so as to seek females that are best suited to carry on their genes.

Ever since the first cave woman held a bit of shiny stuff against her skin, ever since an Egyptian noblewoman smeared green mineral paste on her eyelids and bathed in donkey’s milk, we’ve been using brain to spruce up ways to make oneself look better, raising the beauty stakes ever higher and forcing the less attractive to play ever-more frantic games of catch up.

We are now at a watershed moment in the history of human hotness. Things are evening out. Between makeup, makeovers and surgery, the ugly and/or insecure have never had it so good, which is nice, because their ranks are swelling with every new magazine issue, television show and movie that comes out. Once upon a time it was kajal in the eye , flowers in the hair and today it’s liposuction and Botox. Who knows, facial transplantation surgery—now used only in the most extreme medical need—may one day become as casual as a haircut.

I haven’t yet worked out how I feel about all this (though I should be appalled). We should know better than to fall for it, but frankly, as long as the world continues to reward style over substance ( in many cases) , getting the odd lock highlighted or your eyebrows shaped might not be such a bad option to flinging yourself off a bridge.

Salaaaary

I have started hating family functions. I guess its the only way one meets their cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews etc etc. What i don't like is people pestering me about what i do.

Q1: What do you do now?
Q2: how much does it pay?

Excuse me random daugher of a third cousin of my dad, its none of your business.

What is it with us people? Whats the obsession that we have about education, job qualification?

I think we should blame the previous generation. When i was a kid i remember parents waiting at the school gates to pick up their kids yapping about random non important things like "My daughter is the first in class. My son has finished all levels of the Hindi exams. My daughter has started preparing for iit from std IX."At that time i used to think we would be better. We would be much better than our parents at least in this respect. However i find we are even worse.

I remember the time when people asked "Where do you work? Have you got your promotion? When will you become a manager?" But now its "Why arent you working for an MNC? Dont apply to that US university its not even in the top 50. Oh you studied in that college, oh they never have campus interview"

The problem why asking for personal information is bad is because, people tend to transalate that into other unconnected fields.They tend to think bad either of your education or your upbringing.

Most of the time when people ask how much you earn, it is for a wrong reason. The parents, some close friends may ask for a good reason. But they are the minority. The main reason why people ask is that they want to assume for a fleeting moment that their lives are somehow better than the other person. The salary quoted provides them with the scope to demarcate themselves. It also allows them to indirectly advertise their salary, even though no one even asked them and make comments like "Oh you poor thing.Have you considered changing careers?".

Oh am not saying i dont want to earn lots of money. Of course i do. But that doesnt mean you get to give your " five mins psych eval". Why do people judge you based on a factor that is decided by completely unrelated parameters?

Please dont harp on things related to job/education/marriage all the time. There are nMillion other things to talk about.