SEX!

Ah that made most of you sit up right: P! It is probably the most controversial topic that one can talk about. Since we are the “life sciences dept” the responsibility of taking sex education for more than 200 students falls on our department. And unfortunately I was put in charge. Most people do not take this job seriously. They are either embarrassed or fear repercussions. I on the other hand got into the organizing of the series of lectures very enthusiastically. I figured as long we are doing it, let us do it right. I arranged some guest speakers – an OB-GYN, a sexologist and a NGO social worker. I was covering all my bases.

The institution in which I work was determined to botch things up. See according to them sex is not something to be discussed about. They think and believe that students do not know anything and they prefer to keep it that way. The only reason they even arrange these seminars is because the university makes it compulsory.
They thought that a sexologist was too “controversial” who would corrupt young minds. They asked me to inform the doctor that she could only talk about the anatomy of the reproductive systems and not go into specifics. The social worker was asked to talk about AIDS and other STDs very carefully. The icing on the cake being the only methods of protection we were allowed to discuss was abstinence.

What bothered me more than anything is how people are so reluctant to talk about it. I was the only one amongst the staff who didn’t fidget or was embarrassed. I don’t get it. What is the point in having sex ed , if no one is actually going to talk about it. They figure “talking about it gives kids ideas”. I say the kids already have the idea from the television, cinema, books and what not. Even without all that , didn’t Adam and Eve or the cavemen in Neanderthal age “ do it” . Propagation of the species is a trait inbuilt in our DNA.

Im not one for pre marital sex or live in relationships but considering the fact that I was a student here for five years I know the different kinds of people who go to school here. Many of them have boyfriends, go away for weekends and I don’t think the institution has a right to judge them. It is their personal choice. Respect that. Teach them values, give them advice but if we don’t inform them about how they could protect themselves , they may end up with STDs or pregnant.

The basic problem here is sex is viewed as something which cannot be talked about or even thought of openly. How can teachers, professors or parents impart sex ed to their children or students when they cant talk about it themselves?

Universally, prevention is better than cure, but the question remains – is sex education a prevention, a cure or an experiment the result of which is not known .

Of LOLS and OMGS!!

‘Lol I think we must’ve missed each other lol’ Now is the second lol really necessary? When you think about it what about the first one? If you insist on ‘lol’ing surely with such a short sentence one lol would suffice? Or was the incident in which this sentence refers so side splittingly funny that the author burst in to laughter first at the thought of the incident and then upon the exclamation of the incident? And most importantly will lol eventually take over actual laughter in real life? I just have an image in my head of going to watch the latest movie starring Jim Carrey and the whole of the delusional audience exclaiming ‘lol!’ At the site of Carrey’s slap stick comedy.

I enjoy facebook. On the most part it has been an extremely useful way of getting in touch with old friends, taking generally useless tests to pass the vetti time between one class and another. It is also another way of giving my friends terrible banter in an attempt to embarrass them in front of people who aren’t ‘mutual friends’. I like the idea that it gives everyone a voice and encourage people to get involved with worthy causes, and I like the idea that it’s non-discriminating and promotes multiculturalism. What I don’t like is ‘lol’ing, ‘wtf’ing and ‘omg’ing. What pisses me off even more is the tryin to be subtle about insults like “ F*%K” . Isn’t it easier to jus say fudge, fish or why don’t you just say fuck out right??

Now, as was pointed out to me quite recently, ‘haha’ makes you sound like a dear old grandma (apparently) and ‘hehe’ing just makes you sound utterly ridiculous. You could write ‘that’s so funny’ but then people ask if you are patronizing them. ‘wtf’ should not be used because an exclamation of this magnitude does not warrant an abbreviation. Im not being a prude. I swear quite freely. But it is something that should be used in dire circumstances. There is no point in saying “ WTF he din score!”. Swearing seems to have become the latest “fab”.

If you’re having a bad day chances are at least 10 % of your face book ‘friends’ are having a bad day as well. The difference is they’re not telling everyone. If you’re having a bad day ring a friend, go for a cup of coffee or jus drink the night away with someone who genuinely cares. It is very unlikely that people are going to show sympathy, especially if you specify what’s wrong. If you change your status to ‘ got yelled at by my boss! Had a depressing day!’ the person who had probably had a day much much worse than you will throw his personal computer off a bridge out of sheer annoyance. Trust me, very few people care. The few that do are on the end of your mobile telephone.

No photo albums dedicated to new pets. I’m very happy that you’ve finally found love but I don’t need to see 103 photos of the mutt with comments such as ‘lol sooo cute’ underneath. It makes me want to repeatedly hit my head against a brick wall until I can no longer think or act for myself.

I could go on but you all know the other problems. To be fair you can do what you want with facebook. I’m just expressing what countless hundreds of other are thinking every time they see new photo albums called ‘My prince is here and makes me feel less shit about my life lol’. Don’t even get me started on twitter!

Being popular!

After the last hour of the day, I was gathering my notes and my laptop to head home; I saw one of my students trying to catch up with her friends. This was not an easy task considering she had two huge library books and her meticulously arranged notes. Even as she called out trying to straighten her duppata and push back her glasses, they made their way down the stairs completely ignoring her. She dropped back dejectedly as their plans of heading off to City center echoed clearly through the corridors. Looking at the disappointment in her eyes I desperately wanted to help her, coz looking at her was like looking in a mirror. I was reminded of myself at my first year at college. I wasn't much different from her.

I walked upto her and asked her what was wrong. The assessments she said. I was surprised considering she got the highest grade in class. "That's the problem" she countered. I told her that the smart kids are always unpopular because the other kids envy them for being smart. I wasn't being completely honest.

In most colleges, being smart just didn't matter much. It wasn't something that was admired or despised. All other things being equal, they would have preferred to be on the smart side of average rather than the dumb side, but intelligence counted far less than, say, physical appearance, leadership, or athletic ability. I was the one they came to when they had an assignment deadline or a test on the next day. Not someone with whom they made plans for the weekend.

Why don't smart kids make themselves popular? If they're so smart, why don't they figure out how popularity works? Im reminded of the scandalous book " How Ophal Metha went wildand got a life". The answer, is we don't want to be "with the crowd." Im not being completely honest. Saying I don't want to be popular is like saying Popeye hated spinach. Of course I wanted to be popular but what I wanted more was to be intelligent. The well liked ones learn to be popular the same way we learned to be smart. Being popular is no cup of tea. It's a lot of work. Popularity isn't just something you are or you aren't, but something you make yourself.

I explained to her that in future what would help is her being smart. She would get a good job, earn a lot of money and in general be way more happier than them. When the things you do have real effects, it's no longer enough just to be pleasing. It starts to be important to get the right answers, and that's where being smart has an advantage. Because we didn't fit into this world, does not mean something is wrong with us. It means that in some ways we were a step ahead.

She patiently listened to my line of argument and retorted " I don't want to be popular, I just want to be accepted." Well to that I didn't have an answer.

I saw her a few days later with a cool backpack, contact lens and a kurti. She was hanging out with a different crowd. A more somber crowd if I may say. She was laughing at what her friend was saying. She turned towards me and gave a blinding grin and mouthed thank you. . As she walked off I remembered how I had steadfastly held on to my principles refusing to bend. I may have been right but it didn't really help me. Maybe she was right. Being popular didn't matter, not as much as acceptance.

Betty can do better!

I grew up in a family which encouraged reading books. In fact in this day and age where most people don't read, we as a group might be an exception. Starting from fairy tales upto teenage fiction ive read it all. Sadly one thing was disallowed –Comics books. So while most kids picked them up at the age of maybe 6 or 7, I started out pretty late. The first time I started reading comics was at my friend S's place. You can always find a well read copy Archie's at their kitchen table. I've been hooked to comics since then.

What I remember of Archie, I ask myself. For some reason, I realized yesterday that it has been five years now since I finished high school. That makes me feel old. However back then, Archie's Riverdale and the rest were the American dream. This was the beginning of the "dot-com boom" and the "M.S trend". It was our access to anything American before we were "allowed" to watch Hollywood movies.

For decades this high school guy has been indecisive when it comes to girls. He could never choose between sweet, blond girl-next-door Betty and raven-haired heiress Veronica. People seem to be outraged on Betty's behalf. Honestly I think she is better off without him. If Veronica accepts, then she is making a big mistake! Who would want Archie? Indecisive, spoilt, not particularly intelligent either. Betty can do better!

Most of all I'm disappointed in the story line. It is the biggest cliché there is.. We have seen it all…of course we have our great love stories that romanticize the poor lover: rich girl meets poor boy, they fall in love, she defies her stern dad, they run away and live in penury but happily, dad finally forgives her and they all live happily ever after in daddy's big mansion.

MY friend Harsha, argues Comic books are made for the purpose of making people smile and laugh. Nice girls are supposed to finish first in the long run? If so, then how can it be that, after keeping both waiting for 67 years, it's Veronica that comic book hero Archie is finally proposing to, and not Betty?

I've always enjoyed Jughead's goofiness, Reggie's vanity, and the love triangle between Archie, Veronica, and Betty. If I were a romantic I would probably pair up Veronica with Reggie and Archie with Betty. Im sorry Harsha, fairy tales and "happily ever after" don't exist.. not even in comic books!

KAAPI!

Its wonderful aroma wafts through the air molecules and sinks in to the system while people get up to get their fixes. Or some others wait sleepy eyed at canteens or the roadside shops for that one cup of pure ecstasy. Yes I'm talking abt coffee, or as we call in our dear old madras filter kaapi.

Like a typical madrasi, I cannot function in the morning without my cup of filter kaapi. . But till date most of the time when I wake up in the morning there is amma handing me a cuppa. But when mom isn't in town, the wait in the morning is like pure torture. The wonderful aroma, the sounds of the sizzling hot water poured into the filter and of the milk boiling over is what gives you a jump start to the day. when I was younger amma always took me along to buy the coffee from "Leo coffee house" in Usman rd. Those huge coffee bean grinders never failed to fascinate me. The utter casualness with which the coffee beans were poured into the grinders and the seeming ease with which the grinders crushed the coffee beans into "kaapi podi" always unfailingly left me awed. I miss that! These days we buy the coffee powder in packets.

CCD has this tagline "A lot can happen over coffee". I agree. Although honestly one doesn't really get the same rush or enjoyment with a cup of cappuccino or an espresso served in mugs or cups and saucers. What we need is the good old davara and tumbler..Piping hot coffee in the glass which would be poured back and forth into and out of the davara for the coffee to slightly cool – just that wee bit so that the coffee did not end up burning ones palate.

Sometimes when we are at the beach we walk to this tiny shack and order a 'by-two kaapi'. The sad part is that nowhere else do you feel that love, that feeling of contentment not even when you're sitting in comfy cushions out of the sweltering heat at Barista or Mocha. It's when you hit a shack, order a by-two kaapi, sit on the wooden bench, stretch your legs, pour that coffee into the saucer-like cup, sip, and talk -- you say "aaah there we are!"

And what prompted this post? The debate if the world coffee chain conglomerate - Starbucks would soon come to India. As a self-confessed coffee junkie, I say there is no way they can ever replace my shtrong filter kaapi.

Harry Potter -HBP- A disappointment

" Its more dark and more adult" claimed the tagline. One of the movies that most of us were waiting for this year . But sadly among the many clichés, this year, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince disappoints the truly enthusiastic fan.

By the end of the movie , i thought i was watching some teenage love saga!! The subtle romantic byplay between Ron and Hermione was totally lost in the movie and Emma Watson seems to be portrayed as a love sick teenager, not the brilliant teenage prodigy.

Music by Nicholas Hooper when compared with the original soundtrack by John Williams does not really bring out the desolate times and is unable to carve out a specific role in the film.
The truly disappointing scene was the climax! I wonder what prompted Yates to have Potter stand by without doing anything while Dumbledore was being killed.

The scenes included by the director from scratch and that did not feature in the novel, the attack of Bellatrix, collapse of the Millennium Bridge, the initial scene where Harry is seen flirting with the muggle waitress could have been scraped to give room for others. The Gaunt family history and as the descendant of Salazar Slytherin Merope Gaunt has bewitched by a spell Dad Tom Riddle was completely ignored. There is no trace of Hepzibah Smith, owner of Cup or the the story of the Half-Blood Prince.

I wonder if the desire of Yates to lighten the texture in anticipation of turning the final venture more gloomy and dark. Although by emphasising on the "fun" parts in the movie partially emptied the true purpose of the book - to delve deeper into the psych of voldemort.

Climb the walls of insanity,
Ride the waves of despair.
If you fall it don't matter
There's no one to care.

Strong is good, weak is bad.
Be it false, be it true.
Your mind makes the choice,
And enforces it too.

Hide the pain, carry on,
Routine is the key.
Don't let on that you're not,
What you're pretending to be.

Lock it all up inside you,
How badly that bodes.
Look out for that one day,
When it all just explodes.

Leaving naught but a shell,
Base functionality too.
But killing all else,
That was uniquely you.

So how do you grow,
With a timebomb inside?
Or how to defuse it,
Without destroying its ride?

You can't. It will finally destroy you!