constant ripples..

It's all so uncertain

trying to settle on unsteady water

constant ripples, changing futures

my life is like water ,flowing from place to place

and my intentions are diminished over time

they say you change,

its inevitable some lights will glow brighter than others.

My life is changing as am I in a million ways

the doors are staring me in the face

but I choose to see past them to the people

that have left me behind,

some--sneering in my face

and I try to no longer feel around them

or put my feelings on mute.

Nothing comes without consequence

so I push it all aside or stare it down,

eventually it fades out

and words lose their meaning

i try to wash the venom from my skin

while i try to heal

the scars become beautiful

suddenly I am something more

im someone who is fighting

whether i win or lose this battle

i atleast know tat i bothered to give it a try.

extended family

Any tam bram family would definitely have a ambi mama , a baby perippa and a nana athimber ( no particular reference to anyone) . And these people are set to make the life of the nextgen as difficult as possible. Despite their good intentions questions like "When are you planning on getting married?" "How much will u earn when u get a job?" "How well can you cook?" makes u dearly wish tat you had the powers to apparate. More importantly you dont really know the answers to those questions.

If you get into a conversation with a bonafide tam bram you will realise that in a tam bram family mathematics, physics and chemistry are not merely subjects in the school curriculum. It is a religion. Biology is allowed , but only if you are going to be a doctor. And the "tharaka manthiram" of every Tam Bram student is to master them and pave his way through the gates of an IIT, AIIMS, or atleast Anna university. If you are not particularly brilliant you are begrudgingly allowed to get yourself admitted into the local engineering colleges.

So when a decent scoring student like me decided to take up BSc there where hues and cries of "what is wrong with you?" " you will never get paid enough". I battled through but this was easier mainly because i am a girl. If any of you can point out a tam bram guy of this gen who is say a economist, historian, fashion designer id be suprised.

All these things always make me want to keep em at a distance.. Recently i had a change of perspective . Not tat ive lived long but barely escaping with your life intact makes you think. I am very expressive with word but not with emotions. Ive always liked to deal with anger, hurt or grief on my own. But my elder bro pointed out that it was not our "indian" way. And i realise he is perfectly rite..

They may yell at you, tease you to death, bore you with mundane details, but they are there the minute you need them.One thing that amazes is tat you dont even have to be directly related. Still they treat you like their own. My sister in law who i know for barely a year helped me as if i were her own sister.She and my brother made me realize that family is a circle where we learn to like ourselves ,where we learn to make good decisions. Most of all family is a place where we listen and are listened to....